Rejoicing while Praying - 4/28/2015
I pray that even one person is encouraged by these writings. Not my ramblings about my life, but the Word of God. So, let's get through the worst part to get to the better part!
This past week, as you know, the GA job fell through. I was distraught. Lost. Utterly clueless as to the next step in life. But, I decided to keep applying and looking. I searched online for another job and the site I go to updates regularly. I saw one for a church that Abigail and I had been to several times here in FL. St. Paul's Presbyterian Church. They were looking for an intern for the youth and families ministry. Because of its location and because we already knew the church, I sent out an email to the pastor there and prayed. Talked to Abby a little about it, but didn't think too much about it.
The next day, I received a phone call. It was the pastor who I emailed. We spoke for a long while about the job and what it would look like for me to start this job. He sounded hopeful, I was overjoyed! This was a yes (sorta)! We ended the conversation deciding to leave it on hold for a week and pray. So, that's where we're at. The praying stage. Hence the title, "Rejoicing while Praying." It's no longer original, but I still like it...
One of the places that I'm reading in Scripture, still, is James 1. Looking at only verse 2, it reads, "Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds," This passage is encouraging to believers because it (1) places "joy" and "trials" in the same sentence. What do I mean? These things, subjects do not normally go together. They are opposites. And, let's be honest, even believers, who know their Bibles know this Scripture, and know this passage, know that rendering joy and trials together is counter to our feeble minds. Especially in the trials. When in trials, we never think clearly. Only by the grace of God do we have clear, rational thoughts. (2) This also brings hope. Those who experience trials, which is everyone, will be able to have, if they "consider," in faith, joy. Joy is available to those in trials, but it is also able to be rejected. Honest moment, I've done this. I've rejected joy. Instead of taking my trial and measuring it compared to the strength and grace of God, which will always bring joy, I compared it to myself, which will always bring more pain.
Douglas Moo, in his commentary, writes about this joy that is ours. He says, "...the word [for joy]...probably suggests intensity (complete and unalloyed joy) rather then exclusivity (nothing but joy)." What he means is that the joy we ought to have during the trial is a wholehearted and sincere joy. But, other emotions are also allowed; sadness, grief, pain, anger, etc. Moo continues, "James does not...suggest that Christians facing trials will have no response other than joy, as if we were commanded never to be saddened by difficulties. His point, rather, is that trials should be an occasion for genuine rejoicing."
So, in this troubling time of not being sure of what is next and confusion, we must rejoice, but not a blind rejoicing. A rejoicing that is grounded in and surrounded by the Word. That's a lot easier said than done. My natural inclination is to find something else, something else that will take the place as the object of my rejoicing. Whether it be entertainment and amusement, or if it's my girlfriend and her love, or if it's anger and more sadness, or a number of other things, these take the place of the joy that should be in the Lord.
I am nowhere close to actually getting this right, but we must, for those like me, take comfort in the Spirit of the Lord for He is our strength in our weakness. He not only comforts, but convicts and guides. This is what we need in our time of deepest trials, not someone to tell us we're right, but to tell us the truth. Let's revel in the Word of God because there we will find true joy.
Thank you!
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
Rejoicing while in Tears - 4/21/2015
Rejoicing while in Tears - 4/21/2015
Now, first of all, I'm not actually in tears at the moment. (At least not externally) A quick update for the few of you who knew; I did not get the job in GA.
I received an email yesterday from the man who I had the phone interview with and he, graciously, said that I was not selected for another interview. As I read that email, my heart sunk in my chest. There was not necessarily a sense of relief, but a sense of melancholy shock. "That's it? So, it's over. The wait is over. No more praying for this job and no more worrying. Now what?" I will be honest, my eyes did well up with tears for a few brief moments, but they were quickly dismissed.
Along with this, many other things have been happening. Some of which I can say, some I cannot. I've been under some serious pain and, long story short, it's not terminal, but it's still here. This pain, that the doctors call Status Migranosis (a prolonged complicated migraine), has been here for over a month. I'm still waiting for, and seeking for a job. My grades and schoolwork have plummeted. Overall, I guess I'm what you call depressed. There is more going on, but I cannot go into much detail. I have not turned to the Lord in this; I've turned to myself. I've turned to things that seem to hold promises, but always lead to more destruction.
This morning, while at Starbucks, I have been reading the first chapter of James. First of all, what a beautiful book of the Bible, and what a practical chapter. Joy, trials, testing, faith, wisdom, God, doubts, boasting, lowly, humiliation, blessing, crown of life, promise, temptation, desire, good gifts, perfect gifts, Father of lights, truth, and more are all found in verses 2-18. These are things that, at least I do, think about daily. Not every one of them, but most of them, in some form or another. Why do I say this? Because, we all go through trials, temptation, frustration, disappointments, and suffering. Along with death, these things all humans come to face with in their life. If they say they don't, then they are most frustrated of all. Douglas J. Moo, in his commentary notes two main themes that can be found in the text. First, the endurance of trials. And second, spiritual wholeness, and integrity.
As I have read James before, I always seem to pick up on the endurance of trial, namely, because it is in verse 2, right at the beginning of the letter. But, this idea of spiritual wholeness is a theme that, as Moo states, "So broad is this motif that the other issues James raises in vv. 2-18 can also be related to it." The true and good endurance of trials, in Christ Jesus, results in the spiritual wholeness of the soul. "Count[ing] it all joy..." results in spiritual wholeness. It is more than just good for us, but it is necessary. It is more than a nice thing to do, but it is the, if I may be so bold, the difference between life and death. Look at vv. 5-8, the Lord gives wisdom generously, but those who doubt "must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord." (v. 7) This is a terrifying statement because I doubt. I doubt more than I would like. I doubt, frankly, all the time. I want to not doubt, but my natural inclination tells me it is better to doubt. Doubting allows me to be in control, not God. Doubting allows me to dictate the outcome, not trust in the sovereignty of God. Doubting God makes me god. How would I feel if someone came up to me for advice, training, or something else, and instead of actually listening to my instruction, doubted my every word? This would make me, most likely, respond by saying, "Why did you come to me in the first place if you didn't want help?" I guess we, I, do this to God because he is less personable. Let me clarify, as compared to another human who is right in front of me, I do not sense God in these ways.
I hope to dive into this passage more in the future, but let me conclude by asking for prayer, and saying that I will be praying for you. We all doubt. We all distrust God. But God, in His infinite wisdom and glory, will be brought more glory by us trusting in His Word, and by relying on, and in His promises. Similar as to when a person comes up to me for advice (Which I am not saying is like prayer and God) I feel good because they value my word above their own. I feel good. In a perfect and holy way, God it given the glory He is due by having us trust in His Word, without doubting, without wavering, in faith, by grace.
Let's pray for this, together!
Thank you!
"Oh, magnify the LORD with me,
and let us exalt his name together." Psalm 34:3
Now, first of all, I'm not actually in tears at the moment. (At least not externally) A quick update for the few of you who knew; I did not get the job in GA.
I received an email yesterday from the man who I had the phone interview with and he, graciously, said that I was not selected for another interview. As I read that email, my heart sunk in my chest. There was not necessarily a sense of relief, but a sense of melancholy shock. "That's it? So, it's over. The wait is over. No more praying for this job and no more worrying. Now what?" I will be honest, my eyes did well up with tears for a few brief moments, but they were quickly dismissed.
Along with this, many other things have been happening. Some of which I can say, some I cannot. I've been under some serious pain and, long story short, it's not terminal, but it's still here. This pain, that the doctors call Status Migranosis (a prolonged complicated migraine), has been here for over a month. I'm still waiting for, and seeking for a job. My grades and schoolwork have plummeted. Overall, I guess I'm what you call depressed. There is more going on, but I cannot go into much detail. I have not turned to the Lord in this; I've turned to myself. I've turned to things that seem to hold promises, but always lead to more destruction.
This morning, while at Starbucks, I have been reading the first chapter of James. First of all, what a beautiful book of the Bible, and what a practical chapter. Joy, trials, testing, faith, wisdom, God, doubts, boasting, lowly, humiliation, blessing, crown of life, promise, temptation, desire, good gifts, perfect gifts, Father of lights, truth, and more are all found in verses 2-18. These are things that, at least I do, think about daily. Not every one of them, but most of them, in some form or another. Why do I say this? Because, we all go through trials, temptation, frustration, disappointments, and suffering. Along with death, these things all humans come to face with in their life. If they say they don't, then they are most frustrated of all. Douglas J. Moo, in his commentary notes two main themes that can be found in the text. First, the endurance of trials. And second, spiritual wholeness, and integrity.
As I have read James before, I always seem to pick up on the endurance of trial, namely, because it is in verse 2, right at the beginning of the letter. But, this idea of spiritual wholeness is a theme that, as Moo states, "So broad is this motif that the other issues James raises in vv. 2-18 can also be related to it." The true and good endurance of trials, in Christ Jesus, results in the spiritual wholeness of the soul. "Count[ing] it all joy..." results in spiritual wholeness. It is more than just good for us, but it is necessary. It is more than a nice thing to do, but it is the, if I may be so bold, the difference between life and death. Look at vv. 5-8, the Lord gives wisdom generously, but those who doubt "must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord." (v. 7) This is a terrifying statement because I doubt. I doubt more than I would like. I doubt, frankly, all the time. I want to not doubt, but my natural inclination tells me it is better to doubt. Doubting allows me to be in control, not God. Doubting allows me to dictate the outcome, not trust in the sovereignty of God. Doubting God makes me god. How would I feel if someone came up to me for advice, training, or something else, and instead of actually listening to my instruction, doubted my every word? This would make me, most likely, respond by saying, "Why did you come to me in the first place if you didn't want help?" I guess we, I, do this to God because he is less personable. Let me clarify, as compared to another human who is right in front of me, I do not sense God in these ways.
I hope to dive into this passage more in the future, but let me conclude by asking for prayer, and saying that I will be praying for you. We all doubt. We all distrust God. But God, in His infinite wisdom and glory, will be brought more glory by us trusting in His Word, and by relying on, and in His promises. Similar as to when a person comes up to me for advice (Which I am not saying is like prayer and God) I feel good because they value my word above their own. I feel good. In a perfect and holy way, God it given the glory He is due by having us trust in His Word, without doubting, without wavering, in faith, by grace.
Let's pray for this, together!
Thank you!
"Oh, magnify the LORD with me,
and let us exalt his name together." Psalm 34:3
Thursday, February 26, 2015
Rejoice while Waiting Pt. 2 - 2/25/2015
Rejoice while Waiting Pt. 2 - 2/25/2015
Hello Again!
I'm on a roll with these blog posts! Ok, well, I'm merely writing to express my feelings with a wider audience. Yesterday I shared with several people about my phone interview. They all had the same response, "Wow. That's interesting. And frustrating." The common consensus is that this was less than an interview and more of a conversation. Nothing exciting. Well, trying to hold on to hope yesterday didn't work. I gave into sin and allowed my frustration to become my life. I was hurt by the conversation, honestly. It was not the best conversation ever, but it was not the worst either. I often play it off as the worst conversation in history; that is simply not true. The man I spoke with is a brother in Christ and I care for him, deeply!
What happened yesterday though has happened before; there is a tough situation and I try and cover it up and make everything fine. I would say to myself, "Nothing is wrong. I'm fine." But something is wrong, incredibly wrong. I am, rather than living by the Word, living by my own word; which is very fallible. I had a wonderful morning of devotions and reading, but instead of fighting the rest of the day, I allowed this "good feeling" to try and carry me throughout the rest of the day. It seems right, almost holy, to do it this way. "I read the Bible! I prayed! I did everything you 'want,' Lord, why do I still hurt?" This was my constant plea last night.
"Hear, O sons, a father's instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight, for I give you good precepts; do not forsake my teaching. When I was a son with my father, tender, the only one in the sight of my mother, he taught me and said to me, 'Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments, and live.'" Proverbs 4:1-4 What caught my eye was the language about living; "keep my commandments, and live." First, the language of living has to do with being physically alive. And second, it has to with being spiritually alive; being alive in the Spirit. Keeping the commandments of God results in being truly alive (1 John 2:3) But, third, as one commentator notes about Prov. 2:18, "In wisdom literature, "life" is not mere existence, but a way characterized by true relationships that conform to God's design." Yes, conforming to God's design is obeying his commandments, but it is significant to note that it has the language of relationships. In this passage, Prov. 4:1-4, it is a father speaking to his son, and then God to his children. A good relationship bears fruit of the Spirit, but a bad relationship kills fruit.
It is also interesting to note that listening is a key aspect of being wise. Verse 4 reads, "he taught me and said to me, 'Let your heart hold fast my words...'" Also, at the very beginning of the chapter, "Hear, O sons..." The means by which wisdom comes about is passive; meaning that it is by an outside source; namely God. It is not by anything we do or say. More appropriately, it is the less of what we do, and it is the more of how we listen. And the more we listen, the better we will be. But, listening is not entirely passive. Yes, the act of listening is passive, but that does not mean that we are entirely passive. We are given commands, "...keep my commandments, and live." Listening produces keeping, and keeping produces living, and living produces wisdom and godliness.
Now, how does this affect my life, or your life? It means that we must continue to listen to our heavenly Father. We must be passive for a time. It is the first step to holiness. But, lest we fall into a passive sin like mine, we must then step forward in life. As I return to my new favorite author, William B. Barclay, he is writing about Paul's contentment. He specifically writes about how we can obtain contentment. It's not just a thing that Paul can be because of his spiritual loftiness. He makes note of the the verb "learned" found in verse 12. It has the context of learning something secret. Barclay writes, "Paul's use of this verb indicated that contentment does not come naturally. Not only must contentment be learned, but learning contentment is contrary to our normal (and sinful) ways of thinking." Learning is passive, right? We are to be taught first, but then teaching is useless unless we implement it into our lives.
So, what I leave you with is that we must strive, even in the most depressing times, and even we are on a "spiritual high," to continue to be a student of the Word that implements the teaching we receive. By grace, we will receive wisdom. By grace, we will live. By grace, and only by grace, will be like God. Keep listening to the Word of God, but do not just sit there, move!
Thank you!
Hello Again!
I'm on a roll with these blog posts! Ok, well, I'm merely writing to express my feelings with a wider audience. Yesterday I shared with several people about my phone interview. They all had the same response, "Wow. That's interesting. And frustrating." The common consensus is that this was less than an interview and more of a conversation. Nothing exciting. Well, trying to hold on to hope yesterday didn't work. I gave into sin and allowed my frustration to become my life. I was hurt by the conversation, honestly. It was not the best conversation ever, but it was not the worst either. I often play it off as the worst conversation in history; that is simply not true. The man I spoke with is a brother in Christ and I care for him, deeply!
What happened yesterday though has happened before; there is a tough situation and I try and cover it up and make everything fine. I would say to myself, "Nothing is wrong. I'm fine." But something is wrong, incredibly wrong. I am, rather than living by the Word, living by my own word; which is very fallible. I had a wonderful morning of devotions and reading, but instead of fighting the rest of the day, I allowed this "good feeling" to try and carry me throughout the rest of the day. It seems right, almost holy, to do it this way. "I read the Bible! I prayed! I did everything you 'want,' Lord, why do I still hurt?" This was my constant plea last night.
"Hear, O sons, a father's instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight, for I give you good precepts; do not forsake my teaching. When I was a son with my father, tender, the only one in the sight of my mother, he taught me and said to me, 'Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments, and live.'" Proverbs 4:1-4 What caught my eye was the language about living; "keep my commandments, and live." First, the language of living has to do with being physically alive. And second, it has to with being spiritually alive; being alive in the Spirit. Keeping the commandments of God results in being truly alive (1 John 2:3) But, third, as one commentator notes about Prov. 2:18, "In wisdom literature, "life" is not mere existence, but a way characterized by true relationships that conform to God's design." Yes, conforming to God's design is obeying his commandments, but it is significant to note that it has the language of relationships. In this passage, Prov. 4:1-4, it is a father speaking to his son, and then God to his children. A good relationship bears fruit of the Spirit, but a bad relationship kills fruit.
It is also interesting to note that listening is a key aspect of being wise. Verse 4 reads, "he taught me and said to me, 'Let your heart hold fast my words...'" Also, at the very beginning of the chapter, "Hear, O sons..." The means by which wisdom comes about is passive; meaning that it is by an outside source; namely God. It is not by anything we do or say. More appropriately, it is the less of what we do, and it is the more of how we listen. And the more we listen, the better we will be. But, listening is not entirely passive. Yes, the act of listening is passive, but that does not mean that we are entirely passive. We are given commands, "...keep my commandments, and live." Listening produces keeping, and keeping produces living, and living produces wisdom and godliness.
Now, how does this affect my life, or your life? It means that we must continue to listen to our heavenly Father. We must be passive for a time. It is the first step to holiness. But, lest we fall into a passive sin like mine, we must then step forward in life. As I return to my new favorite author, William B. Barclay, he is writing about Paul's contentment. He specifically writes about how we can obtain contentment. It's not just a thing that Paul can be because of his spiritual loftiness. He makes note of the the verb "learned" found in verse 12. It has the context of learning something secret. Barclay writes, "Paul's use of this verb indicated that contentment does not come naturally. Not only must contentment be learned, but learning contentment is contrary to our normal (and sinful) ways of thinking." Learning is passive, right? We are to be taught first, but then teaching is useless unless we implement it into our lives.
So, what I leave you with is that we must strive, even in the most depressing times, and even we are on a "spiritual high," to continue to be a student of the Word that implements the teaching we receive. By grace, we will receive wisdom. By grace, we will live. By grace, and only by grace, will be like God. Keep listening to the Word of God, but do not just sit there, move!
Thank you!
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Rejoice while Waiting - 2/24/2015
Rejoice while Waiting - 2/24/2015
I have not written anything in...forever! I am writing again because 1. I want to, and 2. I am in a period of waiting.
For those who do not know, this past weekend we had the Ligonier National Conference. It was a wonderful time! I met with a couple from Augusta, GA. They are from a church in Evans, GA and they are looking for a new youth director for their church. On the first day of the conference, I had the first interview with them. It went incredibly well! I met with them the second day of the conference for further clarification on things! He mentioned that he thought I would fit the role of their new youth director perfectly. He said, "I think you're our guy." At this, my heart jumped with excitement and fear! Tremendous fear! In just a few short months I might become their new youth director and be moving to Georgia! What a thought!
He told me that the next step would be a phone interview with one of the ruling elders from the church. Monday evening the call came! Nervously, with Bible ready and testimony in mind, I listened carefully to his words about the youth group and their goal. 20 minutes later, it was over. To be honest, I was in shock because it was so short and he did not ask me, well, about me. He told me a lot of information and listened to me the few times I spoke, but nothing like I was expecting. He concluded the time by saying that he would get back to me in 30-60 days. With much surprise and disappointment, we said goodbye.
Now what? I'm there with Bible ready to go, ready to spell out my philosophy of youth ministry and talk about myself to this man who literally holds my future in the balance, but nothing happened! How am I supposed to wait for 30-60 days in eager anticipation for another phone call with their evaluation of me and whether they wanted to move forward with me or someone else? Well, I am writing this post not for myself, well, sort of for myself, but for others who might be in a spot like me.
I am not an expert, but this morning, in my devotions, I read some wonderful things! Proverbs 3:21-24 reads, "My son, do not lose sight of these - keep sound wisdom and discretion, and they will be life for your soul and adornment for your neck. Then you will walk on your way securely, and your foot will not stumble. If you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet." This last part about the sweet sleep is especially comforting to me. I often lay in bed and think about the crazy things in my life. I lay there and think of the things in my future. I lay there and look to myself and my problems rather than to God and his goodness. I lay there, and I do not sleep. To adorn one with jewelry is more than just to wear it. In verse 3 of the same chapter we see that we must "bind" steadfast love and faithfulness. The context of faithfulness compared to wisdom is a little different, but The language of bind is, as Derek Kidner writes, "striking expressions for glorifying in, mediating on and acting by these principles." Derek Kidner is a commentator of the Old Testament. Not always in the Old Testament does the jewelry motif mean this, but in the case of the wisdom in v. 21, it has a very similar meaning. Wisdom, no matter the circumstance, is what we must be glorifying in, mediating on, and acting by. We ought to live by wisdom because wisdom is from the Lord. Truly living in this wisdom is what beings peace of mind.
One other subject I read this morning is on contentment. I read this from a book called The Secret of Contentment by William B. Barclay. In it he is writing in light of Phil. 4:10-13. This is Paul's writing and he is writing on being content in the situation he is in; which is prison. To be content is to be truly joyful. Paul exemplifies this in this book of the Bible. The theme of joy is a permeating theme. "Joy" or "Rejoice" is found some 16 different times in this book. Barclay writes, "Joy refers to a state of gladness that typically occurs in Scripture with the recognition that God is in control no matter where we find ourselves. . . .The joyful heart is the contented heart, because it recognizes and delights in God's sovereign power and providential goodness." (Emphasis mine) I could be wrong, but it seems to me that joy is not based on external circumstances, but rather on internal promises from God. And believing in the internal promises is a work of the Holy Spirit.
To be wise is to believe in God even when circumstances are like mine; confusing and disorienting. I thought everything would be a perfect match and instead I was told to wait, for what seems like forever. In this moment in life, let's pray for wisdom and contentment. The Lord is pleased to give it generously!
Thank you!
I have not written anything in...forever! I am writing again because 1. I want to, and 2. I am in a period of waiting.
For those who do not know, this past weekend we had the Ligonier National Conference. It was a wonderful time! I met with a couple from Augusta, GA. They are from a church in Evans, GA and they are looking for a new youth director for their church. On the first day of the conference, I had the first interview with them. It went incredibly well! I met with them the second day of the conference for further clarification on things! He mentioned that he thought I would fit the role of their new youth director perfectly. He said, "I think you're our guy." At this, my heart jumped with excitement and fear! Tremendous fear! In just a few short months I might become their new youth director and be moving to Georgia! What a thought!
He told me that the next step would be a phone interview with one of the ruling elders from the church. Monday evening the call came! Nervously, with Bible ready and testimony in mind, I listened carefully to his words about the youth group and their goal. 20 minutes later, it was over. To be honest, I was in shock because it was so short and he did not ask me, well, about me. He told me a lot of information and listened to me the few times I spoke, but nothing like I was expecting. He concluded the time by saying that he would get back to me in 30-60 days. With much surprise and disappointment, we said goodbye.
Now what? I'm there with Bible ready to go, ready to spell out my philosophy of youth ministry and talk about myself to this man who literally holds my future in the balance, but nothing happened! How am I supposed to wait for 30-60 days in eager anticipation for another phone call with their evaluation of me and whether they wanted to move forward with me or someone else? Well, I am writing this post not for myself, well, sort of for myself, but for others who might be in a spot like me.
I am not an expert, but this morning, in my devotions, I read some wonderful things! Proverbs 3:21-24 reads, "My son, do not lose sight of these - keep sound wisdom and discretion, and they will be life for your soul and adornment for your neck. Then you will walk on your way securely, and your foot will not stumble. If you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet." This last part about the sweet sleep is especially comforting to me. I often lay in bed and think about the crazy things in my life. I lay there and think of the things in my future. I lay there and look to myself and my problems rather than to God and his goodness. I lay there, and I do not sleep. To adorn one with jewelry is more than just to wear it. In verse 3 of the same chapter we see that we must "bind" steadfast love and faithfulness. The context of faithfulness compared to wisdom is a little different, but The language of bind is, as Derek Kidner writes, "striking expressions for glorifying in, mediating on and acting by these principles." Derek Kidner is a commentator of the Old Testament. Not always in the Old Testament does the jewelry motif mean this, but in the case of the wisdom in v. 21, it has a very similar meaning. Wisdom, no matter the circumstance, is what we must be glorifying in, mediating on, and acting by. We ought to live by wisdom because wisdom is from the Lord. Truly living in this wisdom is what beings peace of mind.
One other subject I read this morning is on contentment. I read this from a book called The Secret of Contentment by William B. Barclay. In it he is writing in light of Phil. 4:10-13. This is Paul's writing and he is writing on being content in the situation he is in; which is prison. To be content is to be truly joyful. Paul exemplifies this in this book of the Bible. The theme of joy is a permeating theme. "Joy" or "Rejoice" is found some 16 different times in this book. Barclay writes, "Joy refers to a state of gladness that typically occurs in Scripture with the recognition that God is in control no matter where we find ourselves. . . .The joyful heart is the contented heart, because it recognizes and delights in God's sovereign power and providential goodness." (Emphasis mine) I could be wrong, but it seems to me that joy is not based on external circumstances, but rather on internal promises from God. And believing in the internal promises is a work of the Holy Spirit.
To be wise is to believe in God even when circumstances are like mine; confusing and disorienting. I thought everything would be a perfect match and instead I was told to wait, for what seems like forever. In this moment in life, let's pray for wisdom and contentment. The Lord is pleased to give it generously!
Thank you!
Monday, July 28, 2014
Prayer. - 7/28/14
Prayer. - 7/28/14
It has been way too long since the last post. I am going to keep this one brief! I am tired, but doing well! The internship here at church is going really well! I need to get back to work, but I would ask you, the reader, to pray for me. Yes, I need prayer. Crazy, right? Who do I think I am asking for prayer...!
I need prayer to get the job done! I have a lot of work to do with this internship! This week, specifically, I'm teaching on Roman Catholicism (Which I know nothing about) for our Wednesday night Bible Study. And, I know I'll have other teaching obligations. Also, I will be meeting with a bunch of people this week. I am incredibly nervous about that! I have never been great at just hanging out and having lunch with someone, so this will be a challenge! The next big thing is my class for school! I am way behind and need to finish it in two weeks! I am getting ready to come back to FL! These next two weeks will be crazy. I know, there are others who need prayer more than I need prayer. I know that this is not that big of a deal, but I would great appreciate it, if you would be so willing, to pray for me!
Hopefully, I will post as to how I've been doing in the next couple of days! A lot has happened!
Thank You!
It has been way too long since the last post. I am going to keep this one brief! I am tired, but doing well! The internship here at church is going really well! I need to get back to work, but I would ask you, the reader, to pray for me. Yes, I need prayer. Crazy, right? Who do I think I am asking for prayer...!
I need prayer to get the job done! I have a lot of work to do with this internship! This week, specifically, I'm teaching on Roman Catholicism (Which I know nothing about) for our Wednesday night Bible Study. And, I know I'll have other teaching obligations. Also, I will be meeting with a bunch of people this week. I am incredibly nervous about that! I have never been great at just hanging out and having lunch with someone, so this will be a challenge! The next big thing is my class for school! I am way behind and need to finish it in two weeks! I am getting ready to come back to FL! These next two weeks will be crazy. I know, there are others who need prayer more than I need prayer. I know that this is not that big of a deal, but I would great appreciate it, if you would be so willing, to pray for me!
Hopefully, I will post as to how I've been doing in the next couple of days! A lot has happened!
Thank You!
Saturday, July 5, 2014
6/25-7/3 - Dyslexia
6/25 - 7/3 - Dyslexia
Well, a ton has happened since last post! So, why keep talking? Here we go!
6/25-6/27 - The rest of VBS was fun, a little crazy because on Wednesday and Thursday night were overnighters. The first one was great. As the intern, I had to go pick up the pizzas for the group. There were 7 kids when I left. My attitude was totally wrong. I was tired and just wanted to go home. The last thing I wanted to do is to be with these smelly kids. But, by the grace of God, I actually felt love for the kids. As I entered the cabin, there were 2 kids. I searched for the others and they had all gone home. Just two of the boys were left and the youth Pastor and I. It ended up being a really awesome night! Pastor and I talked for a while and the kids loved it. Just us going back and forth with jokes and theological topics. For some reason, they loved it! Later, Pastor and I were talking about reading speeds. He said he was an incredibly slow reader at 20 pages an hour. I told him that I read about 6-10 pages an hour. He was shocked! (Don't worry, this random fact comes into play later)
The second overnighter went, well, alright. Not as good as the first night. There were more kids this evening; which is fine! These kids are great! A great group to be with! Earlier I was speaking with my girlfriend and told her about my reading speed. She asked if I had Dyslexia. I was shocked! I never thought that I could have it. Later that evening, we tried to prank the kids. Pastor, myself, and several older leaders decided it would be a great idea to take smoke bombs and air horns and toilet paper and air-soft guns and pretend to be terrorists and scare the kids. It failed miserably. (For the record, it was not Pastor's or my idea to do all this stuff. We wanted to scare them by creating a dark figure in their window or something of the sort, but not to come in guns a blazin') It only caused all the kids to be angry at us for making the entire cabin smell terrible and filling it with smoke. Also, it woke the neighbors. Yuck. But, hopefully they will have a good story out of it!
Later on the next day I went online and took a simple test so see if I had Dyslexia. Not professional by any means, but it gives an idea as to what to do next. Well, after several tests, they all said that I probably have Dyslexia and should look into taking a professional test. Not sure how I feel about this. It's not that big of a deal, but to a certain extent I feel like a freak. Someone who has this mental disability and is an outcast from society. This is not true! I know it's not true! It did, however, make me much more concerned than it should have.
6/28 - Earlier in the day I spoke with some of my best friends from FL over Skype. It was so good to hear from them and to see how they are! That night we had our young adults Bible study. We talked about what men need to be in a relationship. Terrifying! Not because I don't want to be that, but quite the opposite, I will never achieve perfection. I can learn and strive to be this Biblical man who leads his wife as Christ did for the Church, but will never meet it perfectly. It was incredibly helpful to learn about what it looks like for Godly Christian men to be in relationships!
6/29 - Taught in Sunday School. And played softball with some friends! However, this day, despite the good start, may have been my worst day in several months, if not several years. I cannot go into more details, but please understand that I'm doing well now! (7/4)
6/30 - This day was filled with studying! Awesome! Pretty much the entire day I was in my office studying for an upcoming lesson or for my independent study. I loved it!
7/1 - Not much happened today. We got a new dishwasher.
7/2 - This was my day off! Really just relaxed the whole day!
7/3 - Came into work later in the afternoon. Well, first, I went to Starbucks and tried to do my devotions. For some reason I became incredibly frustrated with my inability to read well. (But, that is for another time) We, our associate Pastor, some friends, one of the youth, and I went to visit a shut in from the church. The Pastor, as we were walking out the door to go see her, said that I would be leading a Bible Study. No preparation time, just go time! He had been thinking about doing this for months and was quite pleased with himself for keeping it a secret until now. Well, to summarize, it went really well! All by the grace of God!
Thank you!
Thursday, June 26, 2014
6/21 - 6/24 Sat., Sun., Mon., Tues. - Exhaustion is my Energy!
6/21 - 6/24 Sat., Sun., Mon., Tues. - Exhaustion is my Energy!
Sat. - Finally spent a night at home! (Well, I did spend one night at home before, but it was short lived because of the anticipation of the week ahead at Builders) I don't remember much about Saturday, except that I tried to rest!
Sun. - I taught Jr. High; which went really well! They announced in the morning service that I would be the intern for the summer and prayed over me! That was wonderful! That evening was youth group. Because of Father's Day and Builders, last week's youth group was cancelled, so this was the first youth group I went to in several months! I was teaching. Completely honest moment, this was the worse lesson I've ever taught. I had no idea what I was saying and was scrambling for words the entire time. I had several minute long pauses and barely got through it. After I prayed, I left, without saying anything, just left. I cried for a bit and went down to the choir room, which is in the basement. I knew no one would find me there. I know I did poorly, and others knew as well. I also knew that they, in the kindness of their heart, would say "nice" things. "Try harder next time", "It was not that bad", "...", whatever else. I didn't want to hear it. Nothing in me wanted to hear the words that they would say; both positive and negative. However, I tried to leave, but they "caught" me. And they did, as I thought they would, say both good and bad things. The lesson going badly was my fault. The past several lessons I have given were all really good. I presumed on the grace of God to "get me through" this one as well. Well, I also didn't study and prepare in the way I should. It was my fault. Totally and entirely my fault. I'm not quitting my job; even though it crossed my mind. I am going to try and take this as a learning opportunity; I'm not as good at improvising as I thought. Also, do not underestimate the time and energy it takes to prepare a lesson!
Mon. - Today starts VBS! However, because our director did not know of my coming home, I was not scheduled for anything. So, I'm not working VBS. For the first couple hours I wandered around waiting for my keys to my "office", in that time our secretary found me and had a wonderful list of jobs to do. The first was shredding paper. Lots of paper. Next, solely because of my title of "intern", I had to unclog a toilet. Wonderful. I was happy to do it, but it was not part of my job description. Maybe it is, I have no idea of what I'm doing here. Anyways, it was very humbling! The rest of the day was busy, but fine! (Also, two different individuals came up to me and said that they were impacted about the lesson I had yesterday. Only by the grace of God and the Spirit's guidance could that have ever happened! Praise His name!)
Tues. - This day, as compared to yesterday, was much better! Well, not better in that I didn't like yesterday, but that I was able to do my "job". A major component of my job is with the youth group, but another is just studying and being in the "office". I'll have to find a healthy balance between the two and the other responsibilities I have. But, to be honest, I was afraid that people would find odd tasks for me to do; such as, unclogging toilets, and shredding paper. So, I hid in my office all day. I had a great time studying! One of the areas of study was Ps. 111. What a beautiful Psalm! "He sent redemption to his people; he has commanded his covenant forever. Holy and awesome is his name!" (v. 9) From my study here (which is not complete) I hope to do a series on some of the Psalms over the summer.
After being in school for the last two semesters, my knowledge of the Lord has greatly increased! I understand Reformed Theology more and am able to be a better student, but one of the struggles I have is that I have a head knowledge, but it has not translated into heart affection for the Lord. I love the study of the Lord, but find a lack in the genuine affection for the Lord himself. The very first verse of this Psalm says, "Praise the Lord! I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart, in the company of the upright, in the congregation." Praise the Lord! Why does my heart have such a hard time doing this? To praise the Lord, whose works in creation is what keeps us all and sustains us all, is, for me, an incredibly difficult task. I would rather complain and am drawn towards having a bad attitude; especially after exhaustion has become my only source of energy. (That, and coffee) So, I pray, with all earnestness and sincerity, that I may learn to praise the Lord in all circumstances!
Thank you!
Sat. - Finally spent a night at home! (Well, I did spend one night at home before, but it was short lived because of the anticipation of the week ahead at Builders) I don't remember much about Saturday, except that I tried to rest!
Sun. - I taught Jr. High; which went really well! They announced in the morning service that I would be the intern for the summer and prayed over me! That was wonderful! That evening was youth group. Because of Father's Day and Builders, last week's youth group was cancelled, so this was the first youth group I went to in several months! I was teaching. Completely honest moment, this was the worse lesson I've ever taught. I had no idea what I was saying and was scrambling for words the entire time. I had several minute long pauses and barely got through it. After I prayed, I left, without saying anything, just left. I cried for a bit and went down to the choir room, which is in the basement. I knew no one would find me there. I know I did poorly, and others knew as well. I also knew that they, in the kindness of their heart, would say "nice" things. "Try harder next time", "It was not that bad", "...", whatever else. I didn't want to hear it. Nothing in me wanted to hear the words that they would say; both positive and negative. However, I tried to leave, but they "caught" me. And they did, as I thought they would, say both good and bad things. The lesson going badly was my fault. The past several lessons I have given were all really good. I presumed on the grace of God to "get me through" this one as well. Well, I also didn't study and prepare in the way I should. It was my fault. Totally and entirely my fault. I'm not quitting my job; even though it crossed my mind. I am going to try and take this as a learning opportunity; I'm not as good at improvising as I thought. Also, do not underestimate the time and energy it takes to prepare a lesson!
Mon. - Today starts VBS! However, because our director did not know of my coming home, I was not scheduled for anything. So, I'm not working VBS. For the first couple hours I wandered around waiting for my keys to my "office", in that time our secretary found me and had a wonderful list of jobs to do. The first was shredding paper. Lots of paper. Next, solely because of my title of "intern", I had to unclog a toilet. Wonderful. I was happy to do it, but it was not part of my job description. Maybe it is, I have no idea of what I'm doing here. Anyways, it was very humbling! The rest of the day was busy, but fine! (Also, two different individuals came up to me and said that they were impacted about the lesson I had yesterday. Only by the grace of God and the Spirit's guidance could that have ever happened! Praise His name!)
Tues. - This day, as compared to yesterday, was much better! Well, not better in that I didn't like yesterday, but that I was able to do my "job". A major component of my job is with the youth group, but another is just studying and being in the "office". I'll have to find a healthy balance between the two and the other responsibilities I have. But, to be honest, I was afraid that people would find odd tasks for me to do; such as, unclogging toilets, and shredding paper. So, I hid in my office all day. I had a great time studying! One of the areas of study was Ps. 111. What a beautiful Psalm! "He sent redemption to his people; he has commanded his covenant forever. Holy and awesome is his name!" (v. 9) From my study here (which is not complete) I hope to do a series on some of the Psalms over the summer.
After being in school for the last two semesters, my knowledge of the Lord has greatly increased! I understand Reformed Theology more and am able to be a better student, but one of the struggles I have is that I have a head knowledge, but it has not translated into heart affection for the Lord. I love the study of the Lord, but find a lack in the genuine affection for the Lord himself. The very first verse of this Psalm says, "Praise the Lord! I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart, in the company of the upright, in the congregation." Praise the Lord! Why does my heart have such a hard time doing this? To praise the Lord, whose works in creation is what keeps us all and sustains us all, is, for me, an incredibly difficult task. I would rather complain and am drawn towards having a bad attitude; especially after exhaustion has become my only source of energy. (That, and coffee) So, I pray, with all earnestness and sincerity, that I may learn to praise the Lord in all circumstances!
Thank you!
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