6/21 - 6/24 Sat., Sun., Mon., Tues. - Exhaustion is my Energy!
Sat. - Finally spent a night at home! (Well, I did spend one night at home before, but it was short lived because of the anticipation of the week ahead at Builders) I don't remember much about Saturday, except that I tried to rest!
Sun. - I taught Jr. High; which went really well! They announced in the morning service that I would be the intern for the summer and prayed over me! That was wonderful! That evening was youth group. Because of Father's Day and Builders, last week's youth group was cancelled, so this was the first youth group I went to in several months! I was teaching. Completely honest moment, this was the worse lesson I've ever taught. I had no idea what I was saying and was scrambling for words the entire time. I had several minute long pauses and barely got through it. After I prayed, I left, without saying anything, just left. I cried for a bit and went down to the choir room, which is in the basement. I knew no one would find me there. I know I did poorly, and others knew as well. I also knew that they, in the kindness of their heart, would say "nice" things. "Try harder next time", "It was not that bad", "...", whatever else. I didn't want to hear it. Nothing in me wanted to hear the words that they would say; both positive and negative. However, I tried to leave, but they "caught" me. And they did, as I thought they would, say both good and bad things. The lesson going badly was my fault. The past several lessons I have given were all really good. I presumed on the grace of God to "get me through" this one as well. Well, I also didn't study and prepare in the way I should. It was my fault. Totally and entirely my fault. I'm not quitting my job; even though it crossed my mind. I am going to try and take this as a learning opportunity; I'm not as good at improvising as I thought. Also, do not underestimate the time and energy it takes to prepare a lesson!
Mon. - Today starts VBS! However, because our director did not know of my coming home, I was not scheduled for anything. So, I'm not working VBS. For the first couple hours I wandered around waiting for my keys to my "office", in that time our secretary found me and had a wonderful list of jobs to do. The first was shredding paper. Lots of paper. Next, solely because of my title of "intern", I had to unclog a toilet. Wonderful. I was happy to do it, but it was not part of my job description. Maybe it is, I have no idea of what I'm doing here. Anyways, it was very humbling! The rest of the day was busy, but fine! (Also, two different individuals came up to me and said that they were impacted about the lesson I had yesterday. Only by the grace of God and the Spirit's guidance could that have ever happened! Praise His name!)
Tues. - This day, as compared to yesterday, was much better! Well, not better in that I didn't like yesterday, but that I was able to do my "job". A major component of my job is with the youth group, but another is just studying and being in the "office". I'll have to find a healthy balance between the two and the other responsibilities I have. But, to be honest, I was afraid that people would find odd tasks for me to do; such as, unclogging toilets, and shredding paper. So, I hid in my office all day. I had a great time studying! One of the areas of study was Ps. 111. What a beautiful Psalm! "He sent redemption to his people; he has commanded his covenant forever. Holy and awesome is his name!" (v. 9) From my study here (which is not complete) I hope to do a series on some of the Psalms over the summer.
After being in school for the last two semesters, my knowledge of the Lord has greatly increased! I understand Reformed Theology more and am able to be a better student, but one of the struggles I have is that I have a head knowledge, but it has not translated into heart affection for the Lord. I love the study of the Lord, but find a lack in the genuine affection for the Lord himself. The very first verse of this Psalm says, "Praise the Lord! I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart, in the company of the upright, in the congregation." Praise the Lord! Why does my heart have such a hard time doing this? To praise the Lord, whose works in creation is what keeps us all and sustains us all, is, for me, an incredibly difficult task. I would rather complain and am drawn towards having a bad attitude; especially after exhaustion has become my only source of energy. (That, and coffee) So, I pray, with all earnestness and sincerity, that I may learn to praise the Lord in all circumstances!
Thank you!
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Saturday, June 21, 2014
6/11 - 6/20 - Builders, Traveling, and Relationships!
6/11 - 6/20 - Builders, Traveling, and Relationships!
Hello Friends! It has been way too long since I've posted anything, I've been incredibly busy. So, here we go. I'll try to catch up as best as I can!
6/11 - Don't remember much, but I was still in PA and flew back to FL to lead youth group! In the middle of the flight, I remembered that I forgot my keys in PA. This means I could not get in the apartment, or drive my car, or check the mail. My Mom sent them, overnight express, but for that Wednesday I had to count on people for rides, everywhere! One friend, whom I really think is the funniest man ever, was incredibly helpful and took me to youth group that evening! It was a really good night! This was the last week of my internship with them! The goodbyes were a little hard, but I'll be seeing them soon enough! The Lord was incredibly gracious for when I spoke. In the middle of my message, I forgot what I was saying. Just stopped talking and could not get back my thoughts for a minute or two. But, some of the kids came up afterwards and said that they were so helped by the massage anyways! Praise the Lord! I ended staying at my friend's place for the evening because I could not get into my apartment and my other roommate went to sleep already!
6/12 - Finally got in the apartment and began to pack, but could not get in the car. So, I ended up sitting around for a while not being able to do anything. After my keys arrived I packed and cleaned up a bit. I took a good friend of my with me to pick something up in Orlando area, which was an awesome trip. Just 1 & 1/2 hours stuck in traffic and talking! Later that evening I had a ballet lesson with the same friend and afterwards we went for a long walk and talk! Long story short, I had an honest moment with her and told her that I liked her. She said she likes me too! I got her Dad's number and planned to call him soon to ask to enter into a relationship!
6/13 - 6/14 Traveling, all day! A total, over the two days, of 21 hours of driving from FL to PA! I often go through a weird cycle while driving for that long of a time. Adventures in
Odyssey, a sermon, music, singing at the top of my lungs until I cannot sing anymore, silence, try to call someone, and repeat! So, for 21 hours, went through this cycle. I also called the Dad! Crazy nervous, but it was a really good conversation! He is such an incredibly gracious man who cared about me, and his daughter's and mine's relationship. He said that we could enter into a courtship and then we prayed together! So, now officially in a relationship!
6/15-6/20 Builders for God for the entire week. I showed up on Sunday morning and taught our Jr. High Sunday school and then got ready to go. Builders for God is a ministry where a group of people go to a camp and stay there for the week and fix up the camp and make repairs and paint and clean and whatever else needs to be done! So, we were leaving right after church and I had not yet unpacked, but took my whole suitcase and stuff with me for this new adventure! (I ended leaving all my bedding...) It was incredibly hard! The first day I painted some of the chapel, but did not complete the project. Then, the next day, went to work on a project where we were replacing an entire roof! It was an incredibly hard job! On the hot roof without any shade and tearing off the old roof and laying down the new roof. The next day, I worked on the roof for a bit, but then I was moved to help supervise some of the youth group as they worked! We went and painted another building, but they could not reach the top parts of the building and because they were too young, they could not get on the ladders. That was my job, on the ladder and painting. I made a lot of mistakes though.
The next day, went and pressure washed a deck of one of the cabins with some more of the youth! That was fun! It was more fun for me because I made them do all the work. (Is that bad of me? Too rash?) Later the same day, I finished the one building for the painting the high parts on the ladder. Friday, the last day, I led the devotional for the men. It was an awesome privilege, and I was honored that they would ask me to do it! Later, did some more painting, but it was by myself and I listened to several messages! That was a lot of fun! Afterwards, it was time to pack up and leave! So glad! The week was hard, but it was good to finally go home!
The thing that was the most hard was the physical labor. I'm a wuss. I don't like the work and would rather just, well, not do it, but the Lord really helped me to overcome these thoughts and to actually enjoy serving in this way. Again, the physical labor was tough, but what got me through was remembering why we were there. The camp serves children from the inner-city and shares the Gospel to them. We were there to fix the camp for the furthering of the Gospel to everyone who comes through! It was not for myself that I was doing this work, but rather for the salvation of souls, by His grace, and the love and care for these children! That's what got me through. Honestly, Monday, I hated it. I hated being there and just wanted to go home, but talking with our youth pastor and really praying came to the spot where I could enjoy serving! Praise the Lord!
Thank you!
Hello Friends! It has been way too long since I've posted anything, I've been incredibly busy. So, here we go. I'll try to catch up as best as I can!
6/11 - Don't remember much, but I was still in PA and flew back to FL to lead youth group! In the middle of the flight, I remembered that I forgot my keys in PA. This means I could not get in the apartment, or drive my car, or check the mail. My Mom sent them, overnight express, but for that Wednesday I had to count on people for rides, everywhere! One friend, whom I really think is the funniest man ever, was incredibly helpful and took me to youth group that evening! It was a really good night! This was the last week of my internship with them! The goodbyes were a little hard, but I'll be seeing them soon enough! The Lord was incredibly gracious for when I spoke. In the middle of my message, I forgot what I was saying. Just stopped talking and could not get back my thoughts for a minute or two. But, some of the kids came up afterwards and said that they were so helped by the massage anyways! Praise the Lord! I ended staying at my friend's place for the evening because I could not get into my apartment and my other roommate went to sleep already!
6/12 - Finally got in the apartment and began to pack, but could not get in the car. So, I ended up sitting around for a while not being able to do anything. After my keys arrived I packed and cleaned up a bit. I took a good friend of my with me to pick something up in Orlando area, which was an awesome trip. Just 1 & 1/2 hours stuck in traffic and talking! Later that evening I had a ballet lesson with the same friend and afterwards we went for a long walk and talk! Long story short, I had an honest moment with her and told her that I liked her. She said she likes me too! I got her Dad's number and planned to call him soon to ask to enter into a relationship!
6/13 - 6/14 Traveling, all day! A total, over the two days, of 21 hours of driving from FL to PA! I often go through a weird cycle while driving for that long of a time. Adventures in
Odyssey, a sermon, music, singing at the top of my lungs until I cannot sing anymore, silence, try to call someone, and repeat! So, for 21 hours, went through this cycle. I also called the Dad! Crazy nervous, but it was a really good conversation! He is such an incredibly gracious man who cared about me, and his daughter's and mine's relationship. He said that we could enter into a courtship and then we prayed together! So, now officially in a relationship!
6/15-6/20 Builders for God for the entire week. I showed up on Sunday morning and taught our Jr. High Sunday school and then got ready to go. Builders for God is a ministry where a group of people go to a camp and stay there for the week and fix up the camp and make repairs and paint and clean and whatever else needs to be done! So, we were leaving right after church and I had not yet unpacked, but took my whole suitcase and stuff with me for this new adventure! (I ended leaving all my bedding...) It was incredibly hard! The first day I painted some of the chapel, but did not complete the project. Then, the next day, went to work on a project where we were replacing an entire roof! It was an incredibly hard job! On the hot roof without any shade and tearing off the old roof and laying down the new roof. The next day, I worked on the roof for a bit, but then I was moved to help supervise some of the youth group as they worked! We went and painted another building, but they could not reach the top parts of the building and because they were too young, they could not get on the ladders. That was my job, on the ladder and painting. I made a lot of mistakes though.
The next day, went and pressure washed a deck of one of the cabins with some more of the youth! That was fun! It was more fun for me because I made them do all the work. (Is that bad of me? Too rash?) Later the same day, I finished the one building for the painting the high parts on the ladder. Friday, the last day, I led the devotional for the men. It was an awesome privilege, and I was honored that they would ask me to do it! Later, did some more painting, but it was by myself and I listened to several messages! That was a lot of fun! Afterwards, it was time to pack up and leave! So glad! The week was hard, but it was good to finally go home!
The thing that was the most hard was the physical labor. I'm a wuss. I don't like the work and would rather just, well, not do it, but the Lord really helped me to overcome these thoughts and to actually enjoy serving in this way. Again, the physical labor was tough, but what got me through was remembering why we were there. The camp serves children from the inner-city and shares the Gospel to them. We were there to fix the camp for the furthering of the Gospel to everyone who comes through! It was not for myself that I was doing this work, but rather for the salvation of souls, by His grace, and the love and care for these children! That's what got me through. Honestly, Monday, I hated it. I hated being there and just wanted to go home, but talking with our youth pastor and really praying came to the spot where I could enjoy serving! Praise the Lord!
Thank you!
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Sun, Mon, Tues 6/8, 6/9, 6/10 - Graduation
Sun, Mon, Tues 6/8, 6/9, 6/10 - Graduation
Sunday – This is my last Sunday at my church here in FL.
Because of it, I was scheduled, when previously was not, to sing on the worship
team. The service went well and I said goodbye to several people. Later on in
the evening, some friends and I planned to go to a evening college service
where they were going to play my video testimony. However, less than an hour
before, I received a text saying that the video was not finished. The church is
45mins away, so I decided not to go. But those same friends came over anyways
and we watched Brave.
Monday – I flew home today. I flew home in order to be at my
sister’s graduation from high school. Over the past few years, our relationship
has grown and it was wonderful to see her graduate from high school! She received honors. (Something
that I did not achieve in high school) I am very proud of her!
Tuesday – My sister and friend had planned this beforehand,
but we were going to surprise our Mom with a birthday lunch. So, our friend came over
and took my Mom out for coffee. My sister set up the house and I went out to
pick up some hoagies for lunch. The first two places I went to were shut down,
but fortunately I found a new place that had amazing hoagies! Went home,
finished cleaning and setting up the house. My mother was surprised! It
was an amazing success! Normally, when that sort of thing happens, namely,
surprise parties or the like, they end up being unveiled beforehand. Or, there
is a hitch that makes it less than what I expected. Usually when that happens
it is because I was the trying to cook the meal and, for the record, I’m not a
great cook. Anyways, afterwards some friends and I went to play tennis, then
almost got kicked out of McDonalds for being too loud. (I would not normally
distinguish McDonalds as being a restaurant of such class that
laughter would disturb the sanctity and tranquility of the other patrons, but
apparently this McD’s was held to a higher standard) Later, I went to my old
workplace, Saxby’s coffee. It was good to see a good friend who still works there.
I worked on my message for Wednesday. Finally, I went out to Applebees for late
night ½ price appetizers. (A fantastic deal for college students)
(This was pretty straight forward. I feel weird just talking
about my day without some other explanation or comment, but this will have to
do. Please forgive me!)
Thank you!
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Thurs, Fri, Sat 6/5, 6/6, 6/7 - The Lego Movie
Thurs, Fri, Sat 6/5, 6/6, 6/7 - The Lego Movie
On Thursday I believe I slept in. I do not remember well, but the one event I can remember is that later on in the evening I went with a friend who was planning on taking a video of me. He had heard my testimony and was doing a mini-series with his church on different people's testimony. He asked me a while ago if he could film it and now we finally got to it. The church he attends is large, and because of it he has access to a lot of neat video and sound equipment that most churches do not have. We went to the studio and it was filled with awesome stuff! I sat in front of a black screen for a long time before we actually got around to shooting it. Very uncomfortable. Sitting on a stool with no back support. It was fine. This was the first time actually being in front of a camera for more than a few seconds, or for those goofy, awkward films we did in high school. (Which are always the most fun because of the memories and the inside jokes) But, what dawned on me and what I found most interesting and shocking is that people want to hear my story. A couple post's ago, I wrote about "my story/our story". In thinking about what it means to share all of our stories, I cannot help but wonder what makes one "better". Nothing really. My story, for some reason, people want to hear, but that does not make it "better" than anyone else's. Yes, the experience that I've had is different compared to most, but it does not mean that I've received more grace than anyone else who has been born again in the Spirit of Christ. By the grace of God, we are what we are today. We are saved!
Friday, I had a ballet lesson. Later, some friends and I went to Chick fil a and then we went and saw the Lego Movie. This was the second time that I’ve seen the movie. (A great movie, by the way) And then a friend and I went for a walk. A good long walk. One of those walks where the level of trust and companionship grows stronger. I must go around in circles, but I thank God for my friends. I wrote on this subject before as well, but it's true. One of my fears was that while I'm still here in FL a lot of my friends, my really close friends, the ones who I feel comfortable talking to a lot of things, have left. They all seemed to have left, and, to be completely honest, I began to become anxious. But, right at the time when they all left, new friends sprung up. Friends in whom I can trust and count on! Praise the Lord!
Saturday, some friends and I spent some time at the springs. There is a long walking trial there. It has a wonderful mix of shade and open area when the sun will shine. I felt bad after a while because I, for whatever reason, did not feel like talking. (I do know why, but I would prefer not to disclose this here) So, I decided to walk ahead of the group in order to give them some space. I felt like I was dragging the whole group down. (Whether this is true or not, I could not shake the feeling) But either way, the trip and the walk was great! I've never been to the springs before. It was beautiful!
Thank you!
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Wednesday 6/4/14 - Black Snakes of Death
Wednesday 6/4/14 - Black Snakes of Death
This day is filled with the grace of God! Wednesday is game day, youth group day! The day that the message is to be given, when I lay all my cards on the table and interact with all the youth group kids. It's hard work. To love, to truly love people is an exhausting task. And it does not help that I'm in charge, making the decisions. But anyways, the morning started early. 5:20am early. I got up early to get to Starbucks early to be able to sit in my favorite seat. It's in the corner, there is an outlet right next to me, it has a decent size table to be able to actually lay my books out and have my laptop out also. Everyone else who does study there thinks so too. Therefore, I go to Starbucks at 6am to get that seat. I once fought a man to the death for that seat! No, not really. (Too far?) I got there to get working on writing my message. During the week I had put off the studying as well. Normally, I study the whole week and then the days leading up to the presentation of the message are not too hard because I am pulling from information already in my mind, but yesterday was different. It made it so much more complicated and difficult to study and write. I became overwhelmed and was not able to focus. My thoughts were not flowing and I had to leave. I went to a friend's apartment to get work done. Similar situation, thoughts were not coming and I just sat there trying to put something together. Nothing.
Well, I finally decided that I could not write out, word for word, the message; like I normally do and had some written out, but mostly points as to what to say. I really dislike that. I often become distracted and off track when speaking. Bullet points do not help when I stop mid sentence and have to get back on track. But if I have it out word for word, then I can pick up where I left off seamlessly. I got so frustrated yesterday that I just stopped and asked if I could have a ballet lesson. We did. It was a longer one, but that was good to be active and not think about the message for a little bit. (Just as a side note, my coach for ballet is truly awesome! She is so talented and caring!) She and I, then, walked and talked a little about the message. Finally, youth group!
I knew that this night was going to have to be on the strength of the Lord, as they all should be, but I have very little notes, no game, and I'm still getting my feet wet. The message I had sorta prepared was going to put to the test tonight. I say this because as soon as I walked into the church, I felt awful. Sick; like I was coming down with something. So, I'm trying to get things ready beforehand and I am feeling weak all over. I thought about going home, but I decided that I could, by the strength of God, make it through. Then, I saw a snake. Yes, a real snake. A black racer, or so they call it. I call it the black devil of horrendous death. It was huge! Gross, nasty, wanted to kill me, snake. I LOATHE SNAKES! I would be perfectly fine is they all disappeared, forever! So, I do not have a message properly prepared, I am feeling sick, and my body is all tense because of the snake! Not the best night. But, I am pleading with God for strength. Not in that he had not given me strength or that I needed more, but that I would believe that he is truly powerful and knows the pain I'm going through. My disbelief in God often will grow the more confident I think I am in something, but I had no confidence in myself to make it through the night. I will often not believe in the provision that he has given me.
Well, long story short, He did provide! The night went amazingly! The message went really well, the game went well too! He provided in such a way that I can not attribute any of it to myself. I had nothing going my way, but it still happened! Praise God!
Thank you!
This day is filled with the grace of God! Wednesday is game day, youth group day! The day that the message is to be given, when I lay all my cards on the table and interact with all the youth group kids. It's hard work. To love, to truly love people is an exhausting task. And it does not help that I'm in charge, making the decisions. But anyways, the morning started early. 5:20am early. I got up early to get to Starbucks early to be able to sit in my favorite seat. It's in the corner, there is an outlet right next to me, it has a decent size table to be able to actually lay my books out and have my laptop out also. Everyone else who does study there thinks so too. Therefore, I go to Starbucks at 6am to get that seat. I once fought a man to the death for that seat! No, not really. (Too far?) I got there to get working on writing my message. During the week I had put off the studying as well. Normally, I study the whole week and then the days leading up to the presentation of the message are not too hard because I am pulling from information already in my mind, but yesterday was different. It made it so much more complicated and difficult to study and write. I became overwhelmed and was not able to focus. My thoughts were not flowing and I had to leave. I went to a friend's apartment to get work done. Similar situation, thoughts were not coming and I just sat there trying to put something together. Nothing.
Well, I finally decided that I could not write out, word for word, the message; like I normally do and had some written out, but mostly points as to what to say. I really dislike that. I often become distracted and off track when speaking. Bullet points do not help when I stop mid sentence and have to get back on track. But if I have it out word for word, then I can pick up where I left off seamlessly. I got so frustrated yesterday that I just stopped and asked if I could have a ballet lesson. We did. It was a longer one, but that was good to be active and not think about the message for a little bit. (Just as a side note, my coach for ballet is truly awesome! She is so talented and caring!) She and I, then, walked and talked a little about the message. Finally, youth group!
I knew that this night was going to have to be on the strength of the Lord, as they all should be, but I have very little notes, no game, and I'm still getting my feet wet. The message I had sorta prepared was going to put to the test tonight. I say this because as soon as I walked into the church, I felt awful. Sick; like I was coming down with something. So, I'm trying to get things ready beforehand and I am feeling weak all over. I thought about going home, but I decided that I could, by the strength of God, make it through. Then, I saw a snake. Yes, a real snake. A black racer, or so they call it. I call it the black devil of horrendous death. It was huge! Gross, nasty, wanted to kill me, snake. I LOATHE SNAKES! I would be perfectly fine is they all disappeared, forever! So, I do not have a message properly prepared, I am feeling sick, and my body is all tense because of the snake! Not the best night. But, I am pleading with God for strength. Not in that he had not given me strength or that I needed more, but that I would believe that he is truly powerful and knows the pain I'm going through. My disbelief in God often will grow the more confident I think I am in something, but I had no confidence in myself to make it through the night. I will often not believe in the provision that he has given me.
Well, long story short, He did provide! The night went amazingly! The message went really well, the game went well too! He provided in such a way that I can not attribute any of it to myself. I had nothing going my way, but it still happened! Praise God!
Thank you!
I am really bad at blogging...(Warning: This is Super Long!)
I am really bad at blogging...
Saturday-Tuesday: 5/31/14 - 6/3/14
When I began this blog, I had great ambitions and desires as to what I wanted it to be. I had dreams of it becoming something awesome! But nope! I have such a hard time just writing everyday. I think the best approach is now to not write everyday, but at least once a week. So, that's what I will do; instead of posting everyday, I will post at least once a week and perhaps more!
(I will do my best to remember each day)
Saturday - I cannot remember what happened this day. (Off to a great start!)
Sunday - This day was a little crazy. I lead worship for the morning service, but prior to Sunday morning, I had no practice. Normally, Wednesday evening is the time when the full group will practice, but because of my internship, I was with the youth group for the evening and was not able to attend the practice. It went incredibly well, despite the circumstances! For our Sunday school time there are different classes that people can attend. There is a specific AY Sunday school for the teens. "AY" stands for Anchored Youth. I decided to go there, which was the first time being there in the morning. The class begins at 9:30. The students were not all on time, so I waited as the continued to roll in. 9:35, 9:40, 9:45 go by and I am waiting for the teacher. Our youth director had told me that I do not need to teach for the AY Sunday school, so I was unprepared. I had nothing! 9:50 comes around and I was in a panic. Praying and talking to the youth I decided to turn to the book of James and improvise. Just read a few verses and talk about it, then a few more and talk...And that's what we did. It went really well considering the circumstances. I learned later that the youth were supposed to go to another class that morning.
In the evening I went to a friend's house to watch several movies. There I met my best friend! His name is Cassius! (I think that's how you spell it) He is a little Chihuahua dog. We quickly became the best of friends! I held him and he eventually stopped shaking in anger that I was holding him and that people were in his face. He warmed up to me. We, I'm sure, will be dog-lifelong friends! After I left, as I was driving home, I was pulled over. (For those of you who know the whole situation with my license can imagine the panic I had when the cop sped up to me and turned on his lights) He pulled my over because my left side headlight was out. (Dumb reason, in my humble opinion) He let me go with a written warning and no ticket. Praise God! If I were to get another ticket, the consequences would be more than just paying money, but no need to go into that because it didn't happen!
Monday - This day was crazy busy! The day began by going to Pepboys to fix my headlight and a couple of other things with Lucy. (My wonderful car) While waiting, I decided to text some friends to see if they wanted to get breakfast. We went to Cracker Barrel. Then, directly afterwards, I met with a student from the youth group. Then, immediately afterwards, I had a staff meeting at my church. Then, immediately after that, I had another meeting with our new president of RBC. It was not a personal meeting, but he wanted to meet with some of the students to talk about possible changes that we wanted to see at RBC. We ended up talking about our stories. Different people shared their stories! It is amazing to hear about the different people who are at RBC and their stories! I actually shared my testimony with the group. (Whether is was a good thing or now, I have no idea, but it happened and cannot change it) Later, had a short ballet lesson.
Tuesday- Today, I tried to spend most of the day working on my message. In actuality, spent none of it working on my message. The morning was awful. After that, I spent time with one of my professors. We went out to lunch and talked for a bit about different things going on in life and some more specific things as well; including the elder brother from the parable of the prodigal son. He was so helpful and shared with me that one way to combat that is to not view another person, believer or unbeliever, as not lesser than us, but rather to see them as exactly the same as you. An unbeliever who is spending their life chasing the things that will not provide are what we would be without the saving grace of God. That's us. There is nothing special about us that moved the heart of God more to save us and not them. If anything, we are the lesser. Just as a side note, this is hard to do. It is more difficult when I am out of practice and do not interact with others outside of my immediate group of friends. I pray that that will change!
Later though, I went to a friend's apartment of whom I have not seen in a while. We caught up for a bit. I had a much longer ballet lesson. I actually cut my foot. (Which I hear is common for ballerinas) Then, the same friend and I had a good long walk and talk about life. Later, a friend stopped by to see how I was doing. It is so good to know that my friends care and are willing to go out of their way to see how I am doing. She is quickly becoming one of my close friends!
Thank you!
Saturday-Tuesday: 5/31/14 - 6/3/14
When I began this blog, I had great ambitions and desires as to what I wanted it to be. I had dreams of it becoming something awesome! But nope! I have such a hard time just writing everyday. I think the best approach is now to not write everyday, but at least once a week. So, that's what I will do; instead of posting everyday, I will post at least once a week and perhaps more!
(I will do my best to remember each day)
Saturday - I cannot remember what happened this day. (Off to a great start!)
Sunday - This day was a little crazy. I lead worship for the morning service, but prior to Sunday morning, I had no practice. Normally, Wednesday evening is the time when the full group will practice, but because of my internship, I was with the youth group for the evening and was not able to attend the practice. It went incredibly well, despite the circumstances! For our Sunday school time there are different classes that people can attend. There is a specific AY Sunday school for the teens. "AY" stands for Anchored Youth. I decided to go there, which was the first time being there in the morning. The class begins at 9:30. The students were not all on time, so I waited as the continued to roll in. 9:35, 9:40, 9:45 go by and I am waiting for the teacher. Our youth director had told me that I do not need to teach for the AY Sunday school, so I was unprepared. I had nothing! 9:50 comes around and I was in a panic. Praying and talking to the youth I decided to turn to the book of James and improvise. Just read a few verses and talk about it, then a few more and talk...And that's what we did. It went really well considering the circumstances. I learned later that the youth were supposed to go to another class that morning.
In the evening I went to a friend's house to watch several movies. There I met my best friend! His name is Cassius! (I think that's how you spell it) He is a little Chihuahua dog. We quickly became the best of friends! I held him and he eventually stopped shaking in anger that I was holding him and that people were in his face. He warmed up to me. We, I'm sure, will be dog-lifelong friends! After I left, as I was driving home, I was pulled over. (For those of you who know the whole situation with my license can imagine the panic I had when the cop sped up to me and turned on his lights) He pulled my over because my left side headlight was out. (Dumb reason, in my humble opinion) He let me go with a written warning and no ticket. Praise God! If I were to get another ticket, the consequences would be more than just paying money, but no need to go into that because it didn't happen!
Monday - This day was crazy busy! The day began by going to Pepboys to fix my headlight and a couple of other things with Lucy. (My wonderful car) While waiting, I decided to text some friends to see if they wanted to get breakfast. We went to Cracker Barrel. Then, directly afterwards, I met with a student from the youth group. Then, immediately afterwards, I had a staff meeting at my church. Then, immediately after that, I had another meeting with our new president of RBC. It was not a personal meeting, but he wanted to meet with some of the students to talk about possible changes that we wanted to see at RBC. We ended up talking about our stories. Different people shared their stories! It is amazing to hear about the different people who are at RBC and their stories! I actually shared my testimony with the group. (Whether is was a good thing or now, I have no idea, but it happened and cannot change it) Later, had a short ballet lesson.
Tuesday- Today, I tried to spend most of the day working on my message. In actuality, spent none of it working on my message. The morning was awful. After that, I spent time with one of my professors. We went out to lunch and talked for a bit about different things going on in life and some more specific things as well; including the elder brother from the parable of the prodigal son. He was so helpful and shared with me that one way to combat that is to not view another person, believer or unbeliever, as not lesser than us, but rather to see them as exactly the same as you. An unbeliever who is spending their life chasing the things that will not provide are what we would be without the saving grace of God. That's us. There is nothing special about us that moved the heart of God more to save us and not them. If anything, we are the lesser. Just as a side note, this is hard to do. It is more difficult when I am out of practice and do not interact with others outside of my immediate group of friends. I pray that that will change!
Later though, I went to a friend's apartment of whom I have not seen in a while. We caught up for a bit. I had a much longer ballet lesson. I actually cut my foot. (Which I hear is common for ballerinas) Then, the same friend and I had a good long walk and talk about life. Later, a friend stopped by to see how I was doing. It is so good to know that my friends care and are willing to go out of their way to see how I am doing. She is quickly becoming one of my close friends!
Thank you!
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Friday 5/30/14 - The Elder Brother
Friday 5/30/14 - The Elder Brother
To be completely honest, I do not remember what happened this day. I write these blogs the day or several days after the day itself and in that time I have no recognition of what happened this Friday. I tried for a while to remember, but my memory is faulty. I do, however, remember the thoughts I had during the day.
When I was in Barnes and Nobles, I read several chapters of The Prodigal God by Timothy Keller. A fantastic book, by the way! As the title may suggest it was about the parable of the prodigal son in the book of Luke. (Then again, I did not figure that out until I opened the book) The emphasis that Keller took, which I think is the right approach, is that of the elder brother rather than, but not in neglect of, the younger brother. Many times, when discussing this passage, people will place the emphasis on the younger brother who squanders his portion of the inheritance early and completely throws his life away. He plans to come back to the family, but to work as a hired servant instead of a son. From a distance away the father sees him, runs to him, and embraces him. He loves him and brings him back into the family with a great celebration. That is often the main point of sermons and devotionals and whatever else, but the parable is being told to Pharisees who are in the crowd. The focus should then probably be put on the elder brother who is more like the Pharisees. Jesus tells of the elder brother who does not enter the party because he is upset. He is upset at the fact that he has worked faithfully for his father and has not even touched his portion of the inheritance, but the younger receives a party when he returns from his rebellion. He thinks that he should receive more, or at least something for the work that he has done. The father come out to plead with him to rejoice in the return of his brother. That's where the parable ends. The thought that I had was, "I am that elder brother! For years I always thought of myself as the younger brother, exclusively. No, I am more and more like the elder. I have obeyed and you do not give me what I want or what I deserve. Or, at least what I think to be a fair trade for my good works. What gives, God? Come on now, work with me. How sinful am I! I deserve nothing! Absolutely nothing! Yet God, in his grace and mercy alone, has so preserved me and given me life. Just breathing, in and of itself is enough, but he has given me so much more. What do I do now? How do I combat the inclination to the elder brother?" That's what I was thinking. It is not a complete thought, in that I am still processing and trying to understand more and more the sin and wrong motives in which I act. But God, even here, is merciful to begin to show me where my sin sits deep in my soul. Praise God!
Thank you!
To be completely honest, I do not remember what happened this day. I write these blogs the day or several days after the day itself and in that time I have no recognition of what happened this Friday. I tried for a while to remember, but my memory is faulty. I do, however, remember the thoughts I had during the day.
When I was in Barnes and Nobles, I read several chapters of The Prodigal God by Timothy Keller. A fantastic book, by the way! As the title may suggest it was about the parable of the prodigal son in the book of Luke. (Then again, I did not figure that out until I opened the book) The emphasis that Keller took, which I think is the right approach, is that of the elder brother rather than, but not in neglect of, the younger brother. Many times, when discussing this passage, people will place the emphasis on the younger brother who squanders his portion of the inheritance early and completely throws his life away. He plans to come back to the family, but to work as a hired servant instead of a son. From a distance away the father sees him, runs to him, and embraces him. He loves him and brings him back into the family with a great celebration. That is often the main point of sermons and devotionals and whatever else, but the parable is being told to Pharisees who are in the crowd. The focus should then probably be put on the elder brother who is more like the Pharisees. Jesus tells of the elder brother who does not enter the party because he is upset. He is upset at the fact that he has worked faithfully for his father and has not even touched his portion of the inheritance, but the younger receives a party when he returns from his rebellion. He thinks that he should receive more, or at least something for the work that he has done. The father come out to plead with him to rejoice in the return of his brother. That's where the parable ends. The thought that I had was, "I am that elder brother! For years I always thought of myself as the younger brother, exclusively. No, I am more and more like the elder. I have obeyed and you do not give me what I want or what I deserve. Or, at least what I think to be a fair trade for my good works. What gives, God? Come on now, work with me. How sinful am I! I deserve nothing! Absolutely nothing! Yet God, in his grace and mercy alone, has so preserved me and given me life. Just breathing, in and of itself is enough, but he has given me so much more. What do I do now? How do I combat the inclination to the elder brother?" That's what I was thinking. It is not a complete thought, in that I am still processing and trying to understand more and more the sin and wrong motives in which I act. But God, even here, is merciful to begin to show me where my sin sits deep in my soul. Praise God!
Thank you!
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