Tuesday 5/20/14 - What a terrifying thought!

Tuesday 5/20/14 - What a terrifying thought!

As compared to yesterday, today has been busy. First, I went to Starbucks to study and write. Then, I met with our youth director at church to go over the plans for the internship where I'll be serving. Next, I went to a friend's house to spend time and do some more study. (I promptly fell asleep though) After that, I went, with the same friend and another, to a community group from their church. Finally, I spent several hours walking with a good friend and talking about life. She was very encouraging to me. I pray I was to her as well. Each day is entirely different. To think back just one day and see the difference between yesterday's laziness and today's productivity - what a transformation! There are many differences between the two, but the one that seems to be more significant is that I began the day in prayer and in the Word. Simple, right? Prayer and the Word. Not a huge difference outwardly, but inwardly, tremendous! This morning, while in 1 Peter, I tried to think and meditate on the great inheritance waiting for us in heaven. What a thought! To have an inheritance means that we will see Christ face to face, have a wonderful, glorious new body that does not ache nor has pain, and we will dwell in the divine presence praising and worshiping God Most High!

At community group we read several passages. All on the great commission and some of Jesus' final words before his ascension. The main theme we were discussing is of evangelism; what it looks like to share the Gospel in our lives, and to proclaim the good news of Jesus to all. This subject of evangelism is one that is incredibly tough for me. It is one that brings great anxiety and sleeplessness. Speaking to another person about Christ is terrifying and I often shy away from it. (Remember this is my honest moment with you) In our discussion, many helpful thoughts were shared. One of which is that in our everyday talk with people, the thing that should be most prevalent is of the one for whom we love the most, namely, Jesus Christ. Naturally, we will share, or want to share, with others the things we love most. Although, I still do not proclaim Christ like I should. Does that mean that I do not love him? No. It does, however, show that the things in my heart that I love the most are in odds with the person and work of Christ. I love other things just as much as, if not more, than Christ. That's a terrifying thought! The problem is that the things I think about and love are in and of themselves not bad. I study a lot and read a lot and listen to sermons; all of which is often Bible saturated and Gospel oriented, but I would rather sit and never speak to another individual about the power of the Gospel. I love the study of the Gospel rather than the God of the Gospel. Is this every single second of the day? No, but I would argue that it might be a majority. All of this is convicting and, to be honest, confusing. Where do I go from here? What is the first step? Well, this summer will be, partly, the first step. I will be working with people. Lots of people! Both Christians and non-Christians. Praise God! 

Thank you!